ayahuasca / Sprituality

Tutankhamun, soul family & the purpose of being alive (Ayahuasca part two)

After publishing the report of my first journey with the plant spirit, it took two months to write about the other journeys. Information given during the first one that I thought I understood, completely hit me with a whole new meaning while working on my first piece. It reorganized my sense of identity and my way of looking at the world. As it was hard inner work to process, grief and rebalance myself integrating these new perspectives, I took a long time postponing to write the last parts. Finally I feel confident that whatever comes up I will be able to deal with. Onwards!

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My next journey starts with ancient Egypt. I am just laying on my mattrass, perfectly normal, until at some point I have such a deep longing for Tutankhamon.

The Sun God. The Sun God. I want to honor the Sun god! I can hear myself thinking. Logic leaves my mind and I am in for the longing completely. The beautiful faces of Tutankhamon and Cleopatra carved in stone pass by. It is so beautiful. I want to honor the Sun god!!!!!

Egypt has been in my subconscious for years now. I used to have frequent vivid dreams about the piramids, and a deep longing to visit. I cried like a little baby when I first heard the poetry by Anthony Anaxogorou on the power of ancient Egypt pre-colonization.

I am feeling confused by my sudden devotion to kings and gods. We leave Egypt and some stories follow. Beautiful stories. Such as accepting the death by suicide of a 25 year old friend nearly two years ago. Who had said he had the feeling I could help him two months before and I did not have “time” to meet him.

Accept it.  You don’t decide. Faith decides. Accept it. I had hoped to be able to somehow receive more information on his death. Still it meant the world to get only the message to release my feelings of guilt and “failed” responsibility.

It’s followed by advice on how to deal with this world that I often struggle so much to be in. Accept that this world consists of good and evil. 

On death. You always say: “When we die we won’t really die. It will be an amazing adventure, I promise. You’ll be thinking she was right!” But do you really want to feel what happens when you die? NO!!! You can tell me, but I don’t want to feel or experience it now. That’s a consistent pattern of yours isn’t it, not feeling? Oh crap. Can we move on?

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Stories about other ways of seeing. These eyes have seen enough. My eyes are rolling. These eyes are tired, they are hurting. I’m scared. Why are my eyes so tired? Will I lose my sight? Oh my god, please not. Your eyes are so tired. Fuck. Look through the Third Eye. Aha! OK you’ve got me there. I can do that. Looking through the Third Eye, not losing sight. Great! That’s where the magic is. AWESOME. Feeling freaking excited. All my Witch cravings are finally coming true.

*Names of people I have met* are your SOUL FAMILY. Yes! Big smile on my face. This was one of the most important questions I asked before undertaking the journey. Feelings of alienation led to so often ask: Where do I belong? Where is my family?

I have soul family!!!

Sisters. You have many, many, many sisters. You came with many sisters. Even better!!!

I am feeling very happy at this point.

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Then I receive a special assignment for getting two people together. A cosmic love date. They live on different continents and I am being told to be the only living human who has met them both. Some instructions follow. I’m having great fun!

Your life purpose?

You being here. You being here. You being here.

This is being repeated for a long time. So that I will remember that even without doing anything, the purpose of my life is to be in this body. Breathing, observing and experiencing life on Earth as it is right now is the purpose of my life.

Upon realizing that, more information follows (that I keep to myself for now). Advice on how to do it, who can help and what I would need: a lot of commitment.

Then I get told to take a break. So I do and the journey stops for a while, but continues in other miraculous ways. I’m off outside the tipi for a toilet break and the guide who walks with me asks: “So I hear you’re going to do so&so?” mentioning exactly the thing about life purpose that I just heard. What the hell? How do you know? I just got that information too! “I just got it through”. And I’m looking it here like I’ve just seen water on fire. For sure this was one of the strangest moments in my life.

I am laughing and in wonder and awe of the strange ways of our journeys on Earth. Back n the tipi I wrap myself comfortably in my blanket, my stuffed animal in my arms.

Rest well. Rest super well.

A new life is waiting for you.

But remember, commitment is very important.

Enjoy the little things. Really enjoy the little things. Promise it. Don’t come close to death and say: I wish I’d enjoyed the little things. Really enjoy them. 

The journey is ending. I do not want it to.

I have a vision of a dark night sky, a full moon and some clouds in front of it. Full Moon is the day after.

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